“Children make your marriage stronger.”

It seemed that everyone, except for my military-wife friend who’d bluntly told the truth as she saw it, had a vested interest in my having children. Again and again my husband and family would press me on it. Friends assured me that children would strengthen my marriage. But I was having serious doubts about the marriage and thought it better to hold off until we got it in better order.

We never did. For me marriage just wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. It felt like I’d been given a snow job, sold a bill of goods as to the joys awaiting me in the trinity of Virginity, Marriage, and Children. After nine years, and with my continuing to say no to our having a baby, my husband filed for divorce. I was thankful there were no children to connect the two of us forever. Over time, I saw that it was not in my nature to live a traditional life. I chose to be neither monogamous, nor to settle down. Just as some women thrive on the joys and challenges of motherhood with a single mate, the course that felt most natural, and made me happiest, was to have an adventurous sex life with multiple partners. I accepted this fact, and lived it.